Erin Bee @erinbee@gorgon.city

I get why stores don't act like it's a cosmetic and put out sample deodorants you can look at and smell (because there's always someone who'd just go straight to cramming it in their pits), but this would solve two of those problems.

Related: The deodorant I use shot up in price from $10 to $17 and I suspect the next time I need to replace it I'll just grit my teeth and pay it because last time I had to switch, I spent a lot more than $17 trying to find something where I liked the smell, didn't hate the texture, and it didn't bother my skin. I don't like being a picky assemblage of sensitive skin and sensory issues!

The body wash I've been using for at least 7 years got discontinued, and now there's bottles of what was a $8 product starting at $58 on Amazon 😡

In this order, it smells like: That Axe chemical smell that hits right in the sinuses, the old Irish Spring bar soap that dries out your skin, baby powder, a dryer sheet, the faintest suggestion of chocolate and vanilla.

I was at the drugstore again, so I sniffed this so you don't have to!

It smells like it could be used to deodorize shoes; there's the sneakers sorted.

I can't tell you top, heart, or base notes because I will not put this on my skin. Sorry, perfumeheads.

On a more serious note: Selling BeaverTails to hungry pilgrims visiting Green Gables is a real Canadian job. (Conflicts with tree planting season though, sorry lumberjacks and wilderness contemplators.)

I can't believe I forgot the most important job of all: "Hockey Sweater knitter"