One thing that takes up too much real estate in my mind is the time Anne Rice had beef with the founder of Popeyes Chicken, so she took out a full page in the newspaper to give one of his restaurants a scathing review from the point of view of the vampire Lestat.

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Other people, foolish: Vampires are erotic.

Me, a learned historian: Dracula was killed by a cowboy. Lestat was brought back from the dead because he hated a fried chicken millionaire's tacky decor.

@erinbee Bram Stoker: How do my heroes defeat this ancient, elemental evil of the night?

also Bram Stoker: Wait, didn't I establish that one of my heroes is from Texas?

Bram Stoker: (nods sagely) Sir, you make an excellent point.

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