Other people, foolish: Vampires are erotic.
Me, a learned historian: Dracula was killed by a cowboy. Lestat was brought back from the dead because he hated a fried chicken millionaire's tacky decor.
@erinbee Bram Stoker: How do my heroes defeat this ancient, elemental evil of the night?
also Bram Stoker: Wait, didn't I establish that one of my heroes is from Texas?
Bram Stoker: (nods sagely) Sir, you make an excellent point.
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